Who says intolerance is bad? Had our freedom fighters not been intolerant, India won’t have got freedom from British rule. Had Nelson Madela not been intolerant, South Africa won’t have left Apartheid behind. Had Martin Luther King, Jr. not been intolerant, USA won’t have had a black President. So, being intolerant is also a virtue so long as one chooses the object of intolerance wisely.
So here you go. By answering the following five simple questions, you can now discover the intolerant Indian In you.
1. What was your reaction on the Dadri incident?
(a) Those who kill Gaumata would meet a similar fate. So, beware.
(b) Sad. Sheer lawlessness. But isn’t Dadri in UP, which is ruled by Mulayam’s son? So why is everyone blaming Modi? Nonetheless, Modi should have condemned it in strongest terms. He should have reined in his party’s hotheads.
(c) This is the real face of Modi. Very soon, he will engineer riots across India and kill all Muslims and Christians. It was always his game. And yes, I am eating beef. Come kill me, you chaddiwalas.
2. How do you see Modi’s foreign trips?
(a) Modi… Modi… Modi... Our man is rock-star, man!
(b) Good, but they are a little too many. He should spend more time in India now.
(c) Let us petition world leaders to boycott Modi and his hegemonic designs of a Hindu Rashtra.
3. What do you think of award wapsi?
(a) These leftist-congress stooges didn’t deserve the awards anyways. Let them return it. Who cares?
(b) Awards are given by the State, not the government. So, these folks should reconsider their stance. However, if they really want to, well, it’s a free country.
(c) Three cheers to the strong response of the intellectuals and the civil society to RSS, Modi and all things right, err... Right.
4. What is your reaction to Bihar Assembly election results?
(a) These Biharis deserve to be ruled by likes of Lalu. Rest of India will now have cheap supply of labour.
(b) Lost in Delhi earlier, now in Bihar. Time for BJP to wake up and smell the coffee. And ya, hopeful that Nitish will deliver on his promise of Sushashan.
(c) Hurrah! Time for some patakha. Secular janta of Bihar has put Modi back in his place. After all, caste divide is not half as bad as communalism.
5. What was your status update after Paris attacks?
(a) Told you so. Islam is a threat to humanity.
(b) Sad. Angry. Thoughts are with the people of France.
(c) Terrorism does not have a religion.
RESULT
(I) Mostly a’s: You are a Bhakt intolerant Indian. Modi is your god and God can never be wrong. You are all over the place on Facebook, Twitter and Whatsapp, always fuming, often abusive. You would instantly share a fellow Bhakt’s post on Hindus being killed mercilessly in Laluland, without caring to check that the violent image used is from a Bhojpuri movie. You think that you can troll liberals to death, so you keep trying. High time you realised that your aggro behaviour is earning Modi, and India, a bad name in the cyber space. Take a chill pill. Watch NDTV Prime Time with Ravish. And for God’s sake, switch off that Zee News!
(II) Mostly b’s: You are a confused intolerant Indian. On certain days, you may like Modi but never love him. You would dread being called a Bhakt or a liberal, because you hate them both. You might have had too much of Ravish. Time for some dumbing down. So switch to Arnab. And ya, AIB roasts do not count for prime time news.
(III) Mostly c’s: You are a liberal intolerant Indian. You HATE Modi. Absolutely, hate him. You don’t care about his economic policies, foreign policies, domestic policies, life insurance policies, none of them. You can and will find fault with anything which sounds, smells, feels, looks and tastes like Modi. Even your sixth sense can tell if a Modi or a Bhakt is round the corner. Time to take it easy. India is not going to dogs. Hindu Rashtra is not lurking around. Time to switch off the news channels, specially that Rajdeep Sardesai fellow! Go watch Prem Ratan Dhan Paayo. On a second thought, watch KRK’s review instead.
So here you go. By answering the following five simple questions, you can now discover the intolerant Indian In you.
1. What was your reaction on the Dadri incident?
(a) Those who kill Gaumata would meet a similar fate. So, beware.
(b) Sad. Sheer lawlessness. But isn’t Dadri in UP, which is ruled by Mulayam’s son? So why is everyone blaming Modi? Nonetheless, Modi should have condemned it in strongest terms. He should have reined in his party’s hotheads.
(c) This is the real face of Modi. Very soon, he will engineer riots across India and kill all Muslims and Christians. It was always his game. And yes, I am eating beef. Come kill me, you chaddiwalas.
2. How do you see Modi’s foreign trips?
(a) Modi… Modi… Modi... Our man is rock-star, man!
(b) Good, but they are a little too many. He should spend more time in India now.
(c) Let us petition world leaders to boycott Modi and his hegemonic designs of a Hindu Rashtra.
3. What do you think of award wapsi?
(a) These leftist-congress stooges didn’t deserve the awards anyways. Let them return it. Who cares?
(b) Awards are given by the State, not the government. So, these folks should reconsider their stance. However, if they really want to, well, it’s a free country.
(c) Three cheers to the strong response of the intellectuals and the civil society to RSS, Modi and all things right, err... Right.
4. What is your reaction to Bihar Assembly election results?
(a) These Biharis deserve to be ruled by likes of Lalu. Rest of India will now have cheap supply of labour.
(b) Lost in Delhi earlier, now in Bihar. Time for BJP to wake up and smell the coffee. And ya, hopeful that Nitish will deliver on his promise of Sushashan.
(c) Hurrah! Time for some patakha. Secular janta of Bihar has put Modi back in his place. After all, caste divide is not half as bad as communalism.
5. What was your status update after Paris attacks?
(a) Told you so. Islam is a threat to humanity.
(b) Sad. Angry. Thoughts are with the people of France.
(c) Terrorism does not have a religion.
RESULT
(I) Mostly a’s: You are a Bhakt intolerant Indian. Modi is your god and God can never be wrong. You are all over the place on Facebook, Twitter and Whatsapp, always fuming, often abusive. You would instantly share a fellow Bhakt’s post on Hindus being killed mercilessly in Laluland, without caring to check that the violent image used is from a Bhojpuri movie. You think that you can troll liberals to death, so you keep trying. High time you realised that your aggro behaviour is earning Modi, and India, a bad name in the cyber space. Take a chill pill. Watch NDTV Prime Time with Ravish. And for God’s sake, switch off that Zee News!
(II) Mostly b’s: You are a confused intolerant Indian. On certain days, you may like Modi but never love him. You would dread being called a Bhakt or a liberal, because you hate them both. You might have had too much of Ravish. Time for some dumbing down. So switch to Arnab. And ya, AIB roasts do not count for prime time news.
(III) Mostly c’s: You are a liberal intolerant Indian. You HATE Modi. Absolutely, hate him. You don’t care about his economic policies, foreign policies, domestic policies, life insurance policies, none of them. You can and will find fault with anything which sounds, smells, feels, looks and tastes like Modi. Even your sixth sense can tell if a Modi or a Bhakt is round the corner. Time to take it easy. India is not going to dogs. Hindu Rashtra is not lurking around. Time to switch off the news channels, specially that Rajdeep Sardesai fellow! Go watch Prem Ratan Dhan Paayo. On a second thought, watch KRK’s review instead.
